I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
