Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
