Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's the barista slut.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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