Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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