Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
