So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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