listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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