Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
