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We're like a lot better than the average bears
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
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