Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We're like a lot better than the average bears

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(312): We're like a lot better than the average bears http://tfl.nu/6x8n

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(847): View more from Illinois

So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?

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(847): So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college? http://tfl.nu/onzy

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.

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(321): When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me. http://tfl.nu/jzk3

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?

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(201): My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud? http://tfl.nu/2vhi

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(913): View more from Kansas

We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.

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(913): We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer. http://tfl.nu/ud7u

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(347): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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(347): sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things. http://tfl.nu/13io

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(502): View more from Kentucky

At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man

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(502): At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man http://tfl.nu/m2kp

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(510): View more from California

i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.

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(510): i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again. http://tfl.nu/nfnb

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(785): View more from Kansas

She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...

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(785): She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before... http://tfl.nu/n0in

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

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(603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative http://tfl.nu/aljj

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".

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(507): You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air". http://tfl.nu/l9as

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(407): View more from Florida

Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?

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(407): Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night? http://tfl.nu/69ho

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(619): View more from California

Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it

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(619): Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it http://tfl.nu/a0r3

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha

(1-314): View more from Missouri

No.

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(314): I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha (1-314): No. http://tfl.nu/xsjk

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(989): View more from Michigan

tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition

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(989): tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition http://tfl.nu/yo0y

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