Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
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his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
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I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?