I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.