I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
