Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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