My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
