As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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