Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
