i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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