They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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