I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Everclear isn't food dammit
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
