You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
