i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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