Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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