hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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