oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
