It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
