This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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