he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
