White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
