he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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