She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
