Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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