I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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