The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
honey bunches of taint.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
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It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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