gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
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Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
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He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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