who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
