She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
