I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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