im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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