Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
