At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
farters have to be the big spoon...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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