Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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