just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
