i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
