I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
