she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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