Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
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I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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