Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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