Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
