Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
