I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
