i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
