Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.