I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
this hospital has no fireball
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting