Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
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i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
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I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.