He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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