Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
