I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I need water and some morals
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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