Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
