O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
