why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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