And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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