he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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