From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
