After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
